Miinistry
Comments 30

My Beautiful Tension


Every Sunday morning before I take the pulpit to speak, I wrestle with what I am about to deliver:
Is this of God?
Is this what the Spirit wants me to share today?
Have I study enough, prepared enough?
Many mornings I am led to preach something other than I prepared.
Other times I walk to the pulpit, heart pounding, not knowing what I am going to say.
I would love to say I am spot on every time, but that wouldn’t be true.
I miss him sometimes – but when I do hear Him and obey Him, it’s glorious.

Every afternoon I take sometime to reflect upon the message preached.
I celebrate what God did during service.
I praise him for the response of His people to His word.
Sometimes I second guess what I shared, even though, I know He was in my preparation.
Did I miss God?
Was I obedient to His voice?
I thank God for testimonies heard
I weep sometimes – especially when I don’t see Him move
Than again he reminds me that He is more interested in what he is doing in me than what He is doing through me.

This is my beautiful tension. This is my story. This is my joy. This is my labor. I am humbled by it. I am honor by it. I am changed and challenged by it. And no one can take it away from me.

I will study to show myself approved, a workman who rightly divides the Word of truth. But I will stay humble and obedient to the voice of the Holy Spirit for He makes all things beautiful – even my Sunday Morning and Sunday Afternoon Tension.

Isaiah 50:4-5 NIV

The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed. The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears; I have not been rebellious, I have not turned away.

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There are three things I think about every moment of everyday... they consume me deeply. How to: 1. Refine my theological understanding 2. sharpen my ethical rigor 3. and heighten my devotional intensity. These are the things I write about. Welcome you to my blog... Join me on this incredible journey of exploration and discovery of all the things God has in store for His children. Join by following or subscribing. I appreciate your thoughts, comments and friendship. Walter

30 Comments

  1. Walt,

    You have expressed so clearly what many of us feel, even those who aren’t called to be preachers. I wonder every day what God is calling me to do and to say.

    Thanks for an inspiring post.

    Nancy

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Nancy thanks a million…
      It’s good to know that others share the same tension.
      Hope all is well with you. Have a double E – Extraordinary Easter
      Walter

      Like

  2. Great post, Pastor. I can tell from reading this and your other posts that you rely on God to speak through you – genuine humility.
    I would like to hear you speak, are any of your messages available online?

    Like

    • Hey brother, sorry for the late reply…
      Hope you are doing great?
      Thanks for the kind words…
      You know, I don’t have any of my messages online. But I am working on it. Coming Soon!
      Have an Extraordinary Easter

      Like

  3. Pingback: 7 Things To Do With Your Plans | Walter Bright

  4. Planting Potatoes says

    You strive to be a tool of God – not to tickle the ears of those listening – I find I can feel the spirit more when my ears aren’t being tickled – know what I mean? πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You expressed this tension beautifully. I wonder if God also has a tension of feeling delight over our deep desire to hear Him and follow Him, and a desire to see us happy and relaxed that we are living His will because our hearts are His?!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. PASTOR DAVIS/MASTER TEACHER says

    My dear brother in Christ what a truly beautiful testimony. Please know that your walk is not alone and never in vain. For God is always with you and he will keep you strong as he sends the Holy Spirit to help guide you through all that he has called you to do. Just remember to always trust him be obedient to him and wait upon him he will do marvelous things as you stand before the throne of grace and let the people see more of him working through you. Be encouraged my brother be blessed for God is your strength and your refugee. He will never leave you nor for sake you, but He will give you peace when you struggle with doubt. I know exactly how you feel, for I too experience some of the same. Be blessed my brother.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks a Million!
      Check this out:

      Isaiah 50:4-5 NIV
      The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed. The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears; I have not been rebellious, I have not turned away.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Refreshing to hear…I was a member of a storefront church once that tasked me with giving a message to the congregation. I asked was there anything specific I should speak about, but they said it was up to me. I was nervous and didn’t know what to do. I prayed and asked God. I began to study and prepared a very good message based upon scripture. Although I didn’t feel that it was something God specifically assigned, it was done. The only thing I needed to do was remember it. I was a school teacher then, and I remember coming home after work to prepare to deliver my message that evening. However, about an hour or two before I was to go to deliver my sermon, the Spirit of God halted my preparation and gave me the message that I was to give that evening which I began to feverishly write as it flowed. I knew it was from God because I didn’t need to research it. It wasn’t as long as the previous one I prepared, but I was still nervous because I was going to deliver something I had no time to practice! Well, I delivered, nervous and a bit doubtful that it was speaking to anyone- short and to the point. After I finished, uncertain of its impact, the small congregation present, gave a standing ovation. One of the ladies, a church leader, was even crying. It turns out that she had been praying, and the sermon spoke to her directly, giving the answer of direction for her prayer. I say that although your messages may change from what you thought of delivering, God has something in the message He gives you for someone in your congregation who needs it. Keep listening! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Carl…

      I try giving my perfect effort but God surpasses it with perfect grace. Thank you for that prayer. Allow me to share one Verse that is rocking my world right now:

      Isaiah 50:4-5 NIV
      The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed. The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears; I have not been rebellious, I have not turned away.

      Isn’t that good?

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Many times we second guess ourselves when we desire to please our Father… but He knows our heart and His grace and mercy is always abundant. We are not perfect… but He knows that. He just smiles down at us and I sense Him smiling down at you. God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Walter,
    Thanks for the reflection on preparation and being attentive to God. And then the reminder “He is more interested in what he is doing in me than what He is doing through me.” Beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

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